I've Made A Huge Mistake New Vegas
by TheLionTree
Summary: For the #FalloutKinkMeme what would happen if the Bluths sided with Caesar?  Two goofy stories taking place in the Mojave Wasteland featuring everyone's favorite dysfunctional sitcom family.
1. I've Made a Huge Mistake

_Someone posted "I've made a huge mistake" and asked for people siding with Legion. So myself and one other person have been churning out these small vignettes featuring the Arrested Development cast. If you haven't seen Arrested Development, shame on you, it's one of the best things that was ever on TV._

_Sorry I've been writing so much, I'll try to spam boxes less. Enjoy!_

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><p>Michael looked at the new coin Caesar had just minted, his likeness gracing the back where Caesar used to be. He flipped the metal nugget in his hand, enjoying the weight of it.<p>

"Congratulations courier, you've worked hard and earned your reward," Caesar said with the proud fatherly quality that endeared him to his men. The old man reached out and patted Michael hard on the back and for the first time Michael felt the approval he'd never gotten from his own Pop-pop.

"Sir," a low ranking legionary announced as he ran up to Caesar and his new comrade, "we found two Vegas citizens held up in one of the casinos, they claim to be the brother and sister of Currier Six."

Turning to Michael Caesar asked, "What do you know of this?"

Saying nothing Michael watched in horror as a tall, thin, dark haired man and a pretty blond with curly hair were shoved towards the group. The tall man protested, "Oh COME _ON_!" as one of the Legionaries butted him with his rifle to make the two move faster.

"Michael! Tell these morons who we are, before they make us into slaves. That's so going to cut into my me time," Michael's sister complained.

Turning to face his companion for an explanation, Caesar waited while Michael collected his thoughts enough to explain how he was related to these two profligate idiots. The dark haired Michael simply sputtered, unable to explain how these two degenerates shared his DNA. He had meant to trigger a cluster of grenades he'd hidden the hotel's kitchen sink. He knew this was the one place the two would never look, because they couldn't ever be bothered to clean or take care of themselves. Now here he was, his lame excuses for siblings blathering on, making him lose what respect Caesar had for him.

"I've made a huge mistake," Michael muttered.

"Yeah, what were you thinking? I mean skirt's aren't really as fashion forward as these Legion jerks would have you think," Gob blurted out with an arrogant laugh, just before an annoyed Caesar grabbed a gun off one of his Praetorians and put a hole in the head of Michael's moron brother.

"Perhaps I can offer an explanation," Tobias said as he unpeeled his blue body from a wall where he had concealed himself from soldiers, leaving his family to die. "In my professional opinion this all started…"

"Fuck this, line them up and shoot the whole fucking family. We can melt the money back down and call it a day," Caesar announced walking away from the whole mess.


	2. The Bluth Gangers

Placing a hand on the shoulder of his son, Michael Bluth settled into the booth at the Prospector Saloon. George Michael gives his father a forlorn look which causes Michael to place his hand over his son's in comfort. "Hey, I know this is pretty scary huh? Dad getting shot in the head an all, but the important thing is that I'm here and we're a family again."

"I know it's just…Well when I saw them dragging your body down the hill…"

"No need to explain, but I'm here now," Michael said as a commotion started at the other end of the bar. Looking towards the commotion Michael saw a balding, chubby, middle aged man in a blue NCRCF outfit, threatening the bartender.

"Look, I don't want to have to tell you again, either you give up the location of Ringo, or me and the rest of the Bluth Gangers will come down here and make a mess," the middle age man explained to Trudy with an annoyed tone to his voice.

"Dad!" Michael asked, standing slowly so he didn't startle the old man.

"Jesus, Michael, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, getting shot in the head delivering a package so I can take care of Mom, Uncle Oscar, Buster, and everyone else back in New Vegas, no thanks to you. What are you doing here anyways? I thought you were sent up river for selling houses to Caesar."

"Your Uncle Oscar is staying with your mother?" George Sr. responded with a forlorn look on his face.

"He's a Bluth Ganger, they are a group of convicts who overthrew the NCR Correctional officers and are now demanding money from anyone wandering through their territory."

"Nice dad, name your gang after the family," Michael demanded of his father, "and have you thought about what kind of example are you setting for George Michael and Maebe? While I'm getting shot trying to deliver a platinum poker chip to Vegas, you are out their breaking out of jail and holding up caravanners. "

"Oh, platinum chips like this?" George Bluth Sr. asks as he holds the platinum chip into the air, "I had to knife some guy in a ridiculous suit for it. Thought it was worthless, I was going to trade it for some cigarettes back at the jail."

"So let me get this straight, I get shot in the head for that thing, only to have my father break out of jail, knife my assailant, and steal the object I was about to march to Primm for?"

"Dad, I think that," George Michael tried to interrupt, looking ill.

"Not right now George Michael, the grown up's are having a conversation. Dad, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Do you think this thing is worth some money?" George Sr. asks, admiring the chip.

"That's not the point, the fact is I have to return this chip to the Lucky 38 or I'm going to owe the Mojave Courier a whole lot of caps."

"I'll teach Oscar to stay away from my Lucille," George Sr. announced as he stormed out of the Prospector Saloon to the place where he had stashed Benny's clothes, ignoring his son's pleadings.

"Hey, come back here with that, I need to deliver it to New Vegas, dad," Michael said as he started after his father, only hesitating while his son gets up to follow him.

"Dad, I meant to tell you, I went up the hill to that place they were going to burry you, because I wanted to see for myself where you were shot, and this scorpion stung me. I'm feeling kind of woozy, but if you need to go after Pop-pop…" and with those words George Michael fell to the floor unconscious, leaving Michael with the agonizing choice; to follow his father or save his son.


	3. A red Tshirt that reads SLUT

"Uncle Oscar will you just relax? We're at the Gomorrah so I can meet a new boyfriend now that Tobias and I have decided to have an open relationship, what could go wrong," Lindsay shouted as she walked away from the table she was sharing with her uncle. Oblivious, she failed to notice several visiting NCR soldiers yelling "It's a Bluth Ganger, get'em!" and diving on top of helpless Oscar. As she sat down at the bar across from one of the thugs working the Gomorrah, a club was being brought down on Oscar's head, rendering him unconscious.

"Hey," Lindsay said as she pulled up close to the bar, "Give me one of those mixed with that sunset sarsaparilla stuff, I want to seem young."

The bartender rolled his eyes for a second then reached over, started to mix the vodka into the soda pop and slid it across the bar to Lindsay. Failing to see anyone better to flirt with the blond leaned in, pressing her breasts up, exaggerating the word SLUT written in black across the red shirt, and smiled at the bartender. "Hey what time do you get off?"

"Why, you looking for company?" The bartender asked, unimpressed with the woman's display.

"Yeah, you could say I'm looking for some company, what girl around here isn't? You see me and my husband have this arrangement…"

Nodding the bartender began to wipe down a glass and responded, "Lotta' men around here looking for some company too. You're lucky, I don't normally work the bar, I uh, I'm normally a recruiter. Tell you what, you come back tomorrow around 8pm and I'll get you all of the company you can stand in one night."

"Ohhhh, I've heard about this, it's like that speed dating thing the kids are into. Maybe I can bring my daughter Maeby, she always wanted to see how one of those went."

The bartender lifted an eyebrow at the woman sitting on the stool in her leather miniskirt and ridiculous shirt. He shook his head, figuring what she did with her kid was none of his business, "Some people might pay double for that, so okay. Fine. Just don't wear that stupid shirt, this is a classy establishment."

Triumphant, Lindsay stood up from the bar and shook the Omerta Thug's hand, "I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night then," and remembering to be sexy she added, "I promise you it won't be a night you'll forget."

The thug shook her hand with a puzzled look on his face. Once she as out of earshot he murmured, "Crazy whores," and continued with his side work.


End file.
